First time cruise tips from someone who grew up on ships

The five things that make or break a first cruise

Almost nobody comes home from a first cruise disappointed by the towel animals. When a first cruise goes wrong, it goes wrong in one of five places, and every one of them is decided before you walk up the gangway.

1. The cabin. Where it sits on the ship matters more than how big it is. If anyone in your group gets motion sick, a cabin in the middle of the ship on a lower deck is the steadiest place on board. How to choose a cabin.
2. The length. Four to seven nights is the right length for a first cruise. It is long enough to settle in and short enough that a ship which doesn't suit you is not a problem. Picking your first cruise.
3. Your phone. At sea your phone can connect to the ship's own satellite network and charge you roaming rates without asking. Put it in airplane mode before the ship leaves the dock. Phones and WiFi at sea.
4. What you book early. Specialty restaurants, popular shore excursions and spa times sell out before sailing, not on board. What to book before you go.
5. The bill. Your fare covers a lot, but not everything. Daily gratuities, drinks, WiFi and excursions go on your onboard account. Knowing what is extra before you book is the difference between a good surprise and a bad one. What the fare covers.

I have watched a lot of people board their first ship. The ones who have a great week are rarely the ones who spent the most. They are the ones who knew what to expect.

Before you book: the decisions that are hard to change

Some choices can be fixed on board. These can't, so they are worth ten minutes of thought now.

• Choose the ship as carefully as the route. You will spend far more waking hours on the ship than off it. A ship you love on a route you find fine beats a dream route on a ship that doesn't suit you.
• Don't make your first cruise a long one. Save the two-week voyage for when you know you love being at sea.
• Compare what's included, not just the headline fare. Two cruises at the same price can be hundreds of dollars apart once drinks, WiFi and gratuities are counted.
• Stretch for a balcony if it is within reach. An inside cabin is perfectly good and costs less; a balcony is where you drink your morning coffee looking at the sea.

The full walk-through is in Before you book and Choosing a cruise line.

Once it's booked: what to do from your sofa

• Get a passport, even if your cruise doesn't require one. Closed-loop cruises from a US port can often be sailed on a birth certificate and photo ID. But if you miss the ship in a foreign port, or need to fly home early, a passport is what gets you on a plane. Documents you need.
• Buy travel insurance that covers medical evacuation. Most US health plans do not cover you at sea, and being taken off a ship for medical care is very expensive.
• Do online check-in the day it opens. Earlier check-in usually means an earlier arrival time at the port, which means an extra afternoon on the ship.
• Fly in the day before. The ship will not wait for a delayed flight. This is the most common way people miss their own cruise.

Sailing day: the first few hours

Sailing day, also called embarkation day, runs smoothly if you remember one thing: your checked bags will not reach your cabin until the afternoon or early evening. Pack a small carry-on with medication, a swimsuit, a change of clothes and anything valuable, and you can start your vacation the minute you are on board.

• Attach your luggage tags before you get out of the car. The porters take your bags at the curb.
• Do the safety drill (the muster drill) straight away. On most lines it takes about five minutes now.
• Walk the ship end to end once. Twenty minutes on day one saves you getting lost all week.

Everything about the day is in Embarkation day, and what to carry is in Your day-one carry-on bag.

On board: small habits that make the week

• Read the daily schedule every evening. It lives in the cruise line's app or arrives in your cabin, and it is the only place tomorrow's shows, deck parties and port times actually appear.
• Eat in the main dining room at least a few nights. It is included in your fare, and it is where the ship's kitchen does its best work. Many first-timers eat at the buffet all week and go home thinking the food was ordinary.
• Check your onboard account mid-week. Everything goes on your room card. A quick look on day three or four means no surprises on the last night.
• Say hello to your cabin steward on day one. Tell them when you like the room made up and what you need. It costs nothing and makes the week easier.

What nobody tells a first-time cruiser

The gratuities are not optional in the way you might think. Most mainstream lines add a daily service charge for every guest, every day, to your onboard account automatically. On a week-long family cruise it adds up. Look up your line's figure before you book; ours are listed, with their sources, in Tipping on a cruise.

You won't know how you feel about sea days until you've had one. Some people find a day with no port the best day of the vacation. Others find it long. That uncertainty is one more reason to keep a first cruise short.

Port days are shorter than they look. A port stop listed as 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. is closer to 9 to 4 once you allow for getting off the ship and being back on board before the all-aboard time. Plan one good thing per port, not three.

Dress codes are gentler than you fear. Outside formal or dress-up nights on the lines that have them, people dress for vacation. Pack less than you think, plus a light layer: dining rooms and theaters are air-conditioned. See What to wear on a cruise.

Packing, in one paragraph

Bring less clothing than you expect, more sunscreen than you expect, your medication in your carry-on, a power bank, a reusable water bottle and a light jacket. Leave irons, steamers, extension cords and candles at home: most cruise lines ban them. The full, interactive list is the cruise packing list.